在和James度过了一个愉快的周末之后，感觉日子又光明起来。

After spending a happy weekend with james, i feel that the dark days become bright.

不愉快的是，刚刚开始的愉快周末转眼就要过完了。

But what not so happy is, the happy weekend comes to the end sooner.

 

Amy姐刚刚收拾好的屋子整洁又明亮。在抹过桌子之后还体贴的送来一块塑料布。心里很感动在远离开家的城市还能有一个像家人一样的人照顾着你。何东的阿姨们，尽管我和James开着玩笑说they are staring at us，但确实是体贴我们的人。

自卑

觉得自己很无能

生活在底层的滋味真难过

当一个人发现他不再优越，他的懦弱就会战胜他

此时卑贱及胆怯，无能和软弱暴露无遗

是否从此崛起或倒下，也许是永恒的

我试图站立，但当客观起来看待自己时，发现我已经到下了

每一点小事都在遭受挫折

而每一点小事都可以让我更加自卑

于是，我觉得我再不想见到任何人

因为怕见到他们

怕见到一起学习的同学，因为争不过他们

怕见到那些爱我的人，因为他们在爱一个懦弱的人

 

希望找一个只有我一个人的地方

永远的无争的活下去

 

today Qinger don't feel like to talk.

today Qinger don't feel like to eat.

drank and thought, i'm degenerate.

 

Haven't  slept well for several days, guys said I become older and yellow face. Really i did treat myself very bad. I think I'll very regret for that one day when I find I'm old and ugly. In fact it is now...

Haven't heard of the word "autumn" for a long time. Until today when i bought boots, i notice that it begins to become cold in the morning. Mom told me they had worn thick coat at home now. November, it's time to frost. Standing beside the heating radiators, let them burn the buttom. But HK miss this comfortable season. So only cold air condition, which i even can't bear, make noise in the midnight study room.

Have said to mom "I must can protect myself well, at least for you". But now I know it's difficult-i can't beat the person who hurts me. 

I know i'm about to hand myself out to an indefinite kind of life.

I know i'm afraid but I don't know what to do.

so I choose to go by destiny...may be

I love the rosses and sunlights, but i know i'll finally be buried in the earth.

.......

what in the hell i'm raving? It's intereating to see another me in english.

 

我会好好活下去的。

so,it's the beginning of november. keep on fighting- for everything.